Releasee___Rooster_______________________
Soon the above named person will be released into society and to your care. In order that you may understand him and help him adjust, we are providing you with the information that will provide some insight in the care and feeding of “Club Fed” graduates.
- Try to avoid large crowds and long lines in particular. He will get into any line and stand complacent for hours at a time.
- Do not allow him to go shopping by himself. He will make out a list, present it to the store manager, and then wait outside until it is filled.
- Occasionally walk through the house shaking a ring of keys yelling sometimes, ethnic phrases or nothing in particular.
- Turn off all the lights at 11.00 p.m. During the night shake your ring of keys, yell again, and call out in Spanish. Also pass gas, and snore loudly.
- Turn on the lights at 6.00 a.m., shake your keys and begin yelling again. Do not allow him to leave the house before 6.30 a.m. And give him ten minutes to get where he is going.
- Please be patient with him at the table. He may pull out a sandwich bag and start filling it up with sugar or may wrap food up in a napkin to eat later. When he has done this, he will continue to eat like nothing happened. It may be best not to go out to eat for a while. He may ask you to trade food for something he wants off your plate.
- Don’t be offended if he pays you some stamps when you make him something to eat.
- When he gets home from work, or comes home for lunch, he may grab a folding chair, place a blanket or shirt over it to reserve his place in front of the TV. Again, be patient with him, this too will pass.
- Don’t be surprised if he places one finger in his ear while on the phone and glares at you if you interrupt him or try to talk while he is on the phone.
- At 4.00 p.m., he may stop whatever he is doing, run to the bedroom where you will find him standing quietly next to the bed. If this happens, simply yell “COUNT CLEAR” and he will return to whatever he is doing. This may occur at other times of the day as well, simply repeat the process.
- Please understand he may have to stand in the shower to obtain an erection.
- If you decide to shower with your loved one, please don’t think ill of him if the soap is dropped and he refuses to pick it up, he is just being cautious.
- Your mate may be perplexed while opening mail. To help him through this period, open the envelope with a knife, cut the letter in half, insert it back into the envelope, and then staple it with many staples throughout the letter. Mail will probably only be read after 4.00.p.m.
These are just a few of the “quirks” that your loved one may have acquired while being a consumer of Correctional Services at “Club Fed”. But with some tender loving care and A LOT OF PATIENCE and understanding, you will once again have the person that you knew and loved.
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